It is nights like tonight that I feel it.
That no matter what I do, no matter who I try to please – whether it’s myself or my partner or my friends or my family or my work – IT IS NOT THE RIGHT decision. Because I let them, if I don’t do what *whoever^ wants, well then I’m just a piece of shit who owes my fucking life and a million apologies.
Then, when I do concede — and I always do – it still isn’t enough for most people.
I AM NEVER GOOD ENOUGH UNLESS I AM A COMPLETE DOORMAT THAT AGREES WITH WHOMEVER I HAPPEN TO BE AROUND.
I am never good enough. ME..just me, the real me – flaws and all. The one who makes mistakes, but never ones that would intentionally hurt someone in the process. Thats not good enough. I swear until someone staples some puppet wire on me, and I just live letting someone else hold the strings – I will never be good enough.
And I can’t do it anymore.