What a difference 24 hours makes.
I went from pretty much feeling like I was losing my mind yesterday to feeling world’s better today.
I left Ray last night. It wasn’t pretty, it definitely wasn’t amicable, but it was necessary.
I got home from work last night to find he wasn’t there. I had a bad feeling from the moment I pulled up to the house. He arrived shortly after I did, smelling of alcohol, only when I asked him where he was, he lied and said he was working a side job. I didn’t confront him immediately. I stewed and stewed, and I’m sure it showed. Eventually he asked why I was so quiet, and I responded that I could tell that he was lying to me and that’s when World War 3 ignited (it’s so funny to me how people completely give away that they’re caught in a lie by acting the way they do when you bust them on it…)
I remained calm as I do in these situations (past relationship abuse taught me well) and I could tell it was headed in an awful direction, he was slinging insults and being horrifically mean (“Oh, I’ve been lying huh? Only about the fact that I’m happy with YOU..” amongst other lovely sentiments.) He said that me working to support us and providing us insurance (my insurance lone is only $14 per pay period, adding him caused the premium to jump to $190) was not “my half” of our relationship – that I still needed to be someone he WANTED to come home to. Because, you know, it’s been my DREAM to come home to a drunk alcoholic every day.
But I digress.
I don’t doubt that I haven’t been a pleasure over the last month, but what he fails to see is that he’s the reason WHY. Yes, I have a million things on my plate right now, but GUESS WHAT? I STILL have a million things on my plate and, yet, I’m in a better mood today after having ended things with him than I’ve been at any point since we moved in together a month ago.
So, once he started throwing things at me, I high tailed it out of there (another lovely thing past abuse taught me). I brought ONE work outfit and nothing more. He called a million times on my way to my parents (to my HAVEN) with different threats about bringing the engagement ring back.
And I have no problem giving it back to him, except that I don’t want to see him or be near him to do so. So, I’ll figure all that out in time, along with getting my stuff back.
It’s just stuff and it’s all replaceable so…..if need be, I’ll buy new clothes.