Lights & Tunnels & Whatnot

Things have been going rather well for me as of late.  Hmmmm..imagine that, I get rid of the drug addicted, soul (and money and hope) sucking boyfriend/fiance and POOF!!  Things are actually looking up? Wow……you don’t say!!

Things with the new guy, Scott, are moving right along.  I think we’ve only been apart 1 day since our first date.  He’s got 2 kids, ages 9 and 4, and that’s definitely going to take some……getting used to patience. I’m the only woman they’ve met since their mom, and so the situation definitely calls for some finesse (?)

He still has yet to meet my daughter, which – – he’d better remember all my patience and finessing because…..whooooa boy is my 15 year old turning out to be a handful.  And she loved Ray (not knowing all the facts about him obvs) and honestly thought he was my soulmate, so introducing someone else into her life isn’t going to be all peaches & cream.  And Scott is SO different from Ray.

And of course there’s the other matter of his PIT BULL and my CHIHUAHUA pretty much hating each other and wanting to kill/mame each other.

So, yeah, it’s definitely not easy dating at 38 with kids and exes and dogs and whatnot.

But, ohhhh, is it awesome too.  I’ve had my fair share of guys that were not right for me.  And I have no idea if Scott is or isn’t “right for me”, but I’m enjoying the hell out of finding out.  When you’ve been with as many losers (no matter how great some of their qualities are/were, ultimately they were failing in life, no matter how I look at it) as I have, you grow to appreciate things like him getting up at 5:30am every day, without fail, to go to work, and him paying his bills and owning his own home and being a good father to his children.  We literally are in bed by 11pm at night, not out at the bars or up all night…he’s a hardworking man and, oooooo boy there is something to be said for that.

He makes me want to be better.  The 3 main relationships of my life, the men were completely fine with status quo.  Of course, I was the one doing most of the work and supporting, so why wouldn’t they be fine with that but – still – they didn’t challenge me in any way and since I was so busy just trying to maintain, I had no ability to look BEYOND.  It’s different with Scott, and the only way I can describe it is the way I did above: he makes me want to be better.

Of course, my meds are (for the most part) sorted out and that could have a huge part of me feeling “better” than I have for a long time.  But I think it’s the combination of everything going on, me making better choices, the new man in my life, finally being on the right meds, eating better, exercising, choosing GOOD people to be in my life and not soul suckers that either want something from me or are perfectly content living whatever way they are instead of striving for something MORE, something BETTER.   I am soooo glad to have gotten rid of the Apryl’s and the Bryin’s and the Ray’s of my life, I can’t even put it into words.

So, yeah, an uplifting blog post for once………..I see the light ahead finally, after years in the dark.  And it’s awesome.


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